Wait, We Can Explain!
by Strawberry Smirks
Summary: What happens when you have no clothes? And you're spotted by the majority of the school? And you're caught in a very awkard situation? Damn that Ouran monkey... Poor Kyouya and Tamaki, but hooray for the MOE fangirls!


Since I'm suffering from the world's greatest writer's block and cannot think of what to write for 'Perfect Little Lie' (DD:) I decided to take a break and write some comedy!

Some risque comedy :DDDD

* * *

Mid-Spring signs were as ordinary as usual; the flowers peaked their heads out of hidden bulbs; the grass rippened with new dew; the sky remained constant with it's clarity and crisp air. Perfect day for hosting, ne? 

It was a special day--one that came rarely--a half day. Classes finished early and thus hosting began early, luckily for the fangirls. Each Host came straight from their last period class to the Host Club room. The devilish duo of Hitachiins returned from their modern art class, letting their fashion critiquing take over as they mentioned that modern art had no fall color palettes. The Wild Type and his beloved little ball of sugar returned from their Advanced Placement Chemistry 2 course where Usa-chan almost caught on fire; Mori-senpai to the rescue! Haruhi returned from her Old English Literature class; there she realized that Tamaki was an exact duplicate to 'Feste the Jester' from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. Hold on, I failed to mention two other members; Mother and Father.

Being the only second years in the club, and being attached to the hip--or, at least, Tamaki forcefully attaching Kyouya to his hip--the contrary friends had the same last period together: Physical Education AKA P.E. In that period, the boys had to take a cardiovascular test which included a twenty minute run. As expected, Tama-chan ran around like a dog chasing his tail. On the otherhand, Kyouya didn't run at all; he paid someone else to do it. Pfft, you'd expect someone of Kyouya's intelligence to run and ruin his perfectly clean clothes? However, the teacher didn't seem to except this plan. No worries, though, all the Cool Type did was give a persuasive speech and his was in the clear. The speech consisted of the words 'technically', 'logically', and 'one hundred secret police squads'.

No wonder the teacher easily gave in.

Now, sweaty from running and arguing, the Hosts were in the locker room showering; to Strawberry Smirk's dismay, they weren't in the same shower. The blonde haired idiot and the charcoaled eyed intellectual lathered and rinsed as steam covered their eyesight and Tamaki's humming covered up any outside noise. Then, that's where the innocent clothes lay.

Helpless.

Now if we look at the species entering we can see they're from the MOEicus Fangirlnellus family, but their common name is 'Fangirls'. Fangirls have increased eyesight, able to spot a moment of MOE from fifty feet away. Also, toned thighs and calves give them the ability to pounce on innocent yaoi subjects; their jumps can reach one hundred feet! Looking at the scene at hand, we can see the Alpha female also known as Renge-chan. Behind the alpha, there is a plethora of subordinate fangirls on the hunt. Eyes glare and, crikey!, they've spotted the unprotected clothing. Pouncing like vicious creatures, they attack the clothing, stealing it and running away into the secluded shadows. Who knows what they'll do to those poor clothes?! Wacky demonic ceremonial ritual? Sacrifice to the doujinshi Gods? Sell them on Ebay? Heaven forbid!

Alas, the clothing was gone and the showers were done.

Uh-oh.

Back at the Third Music Room, the scene was afloat with many chattering girls and many Hosts glittering with their usual charm. By the request of many of the customers, today was cute stuffed animal day! What did that mean for the Hosts? Time to dress up as cute stuffed animals!...yay? Of course, the only one that didn't mind was Mitsukuni but then again he does lug around a pink rabbit with him everywhere. Tamaki would've squealed if he could've seen Haruhi! Adorned in the tickle me pink rabbit costume that was once forced on her by the prince, the Natural Type looked like the essence of cheer and sunshine--basically, the essence of Tamaki.

The trouble seeking twins--or now, trouble seeking twin sheep--were on the lookout for an item: lotion.

"Kaoru, do we have any lotion left?" Hikaru asked, carefully eyeing his rough hands.

Quickly checking the Host Club's lotion cabinets--a fair Host had to have supple skin, so there was a sector devoted to lotion-- it seemed there was none left. "Sorry Hikaru, we're all out."

Ah, it was no big deal; a customer probably had some the elder twin could borrow. Approaching a customer, his question never came out. All talking in the room ceased and all that could be heard was, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A barenaked Tamaki, barely covered by a newspaper (on his front side only) came running into the Host Club room, clenching for dear life. After him, came a normal paced walking Kyouya, also only covered by a newspaper on his front side. If the King had bothered using common sense, he would've looked into the room, seen the customers and not run in but, of course, this is Tama-chan so he barged into a room of fangirls--now blushing--and Hosts--eyes now bulging.

No one could utter a word. Syllables were trying to be formed but were never put together. Never being one to be articulate, didn't explain his situation and, besides, he was distracted by an adorable bunny Haruhi; an adorable bunny Haruhi who flushed his cheeks bright red.

Ootori-san is a very composed character; even under situations like this where he was overexposed his elegance and calm mind remained in their place. In order to straighten out the gawking fangirls and try to organize this situation so it wouldn't exploded, the Shadow King barked his orders, "Everyone look for our clothes." His midnight eyes narrowed to a glare. "Now." Frightened by his wrath, the Hosts--and even the fangirls--rapidly scurried out the door, unaware that Renge and her band of rabid fangirls were soaking up the loveliness of the duo's clothes already.

The situation was now slightly under control; only the two victims were left in the room and their exposure had been kept to a minimum. Calculating numerals and probabilities in his mind, the Cool Type tried to figure out the culprits and how they should be extremely and painfully punished for this humiliation. While he calculated, Tamaki was stuck in his own little dream world. The image of that cuddly Haruhi couldn't escape his mind. His daughter was so cute! So lovable! An even harsher blushed appeared upon the Frenchman's face and his fantasies increased.

Tamaki was excited.

Too excited.

The type of excited a teenage boy gets.

If you haven't gotten the clues yet, here's another: let's just say the newspaper went from being flat to becoming a tent.

Again, he was excited.

But, Tamaki was quick to notice this affect and the blonde frantically waved his arms in a silent hush. He couldn't yell or Kyouya would turn around and see his...situation. Finding a chair behind him, the blonde sat down.

Not such a good idea.

You see, when the idiot sat down, the newspaper torn and he was left with a hole that exposed his problem. Now near death of embarrasment, Tamaki threw the paper aside and looked for a cushion to cover himself with, thus resulting in making noise. Noise that could catch Kyouya's attention.

Kyouya has some odd traits. One of them being the way he turns. When the youngest Ootori makes his turns, he takes a step back and then uses his heel to turn around. That's what he was going to do now, however there was one factor against him; the Ouran's resident monkey. A split second before the Cool Type took a step backwards, a banana peel was hurled on the floor. Kyouya's foot took its step backwards, landed on the peel, and he started to slide backwards. Ootori-san's sliding was stopped when he landed on something: Tamaki.

A bare bottomed Kyouya landed on an excited Tamaki.

They're both naked.

You get the picture.

They _would've_ had time to remove themselves from this permiscuos position, but they froze. The Host Club and the Host Club only entered the room. Everyone froze. Everyone was in discomfort. Everyone was wide eyed, jaw dropped, and baffled.

Hunny's first reaction was to cover Usa-chan's eyes. Mori's first reaction was to cover Hunny's eyes. Haruhi's first reaction was the same as the Twins'; a look caught between 'What the hell are you doing?!?!' and 'O.o'. As the air turned stale, the Hitachiin Twins were the first to speak.

"No wonder all the lotion is missing."


End file.
